Random thoughts on the subject of rejection

Getting published is the goal of every author but I have survived the long process by enjoying the vagaries of the people who send rejection letters.
I have discussed this many times with other authors and we all have our stories to tell. One friend has placed her rejection letters on what she calls the 'toilet roll of doom."
My own journey begins when I would send short stories into Sci Fi magazines to try my luck with the slush pile.
The first time the rejection took the form of a post it note attached to my submission which read - "send standard rejection letter."
The next rejection took the form of a photocopied form letter with a couple of blank spaces for the rejector to fill in.
Dear. . . blank (left blank). Thank you for sending your . . . short story. . . sincerely . . . . .
This one wasn't signed.
But I felt the sincerity.
The next rejection was "We don't print poetry."
But I didn't send poetry. . .
Then, heaven help us, I started to receive personalized rejection letters that suggested, possibly, that they'd read the book.
Even then the rejections did not make sense.
I pitched a book at a writers conference as a humorous paranormal, sent in a humorous book and received a rejection which read . "Don't be afraid to go dark."
(Pardon? I said in the pitch session it was funny.)
Then came the happy day when I received a letter which stated, in part. .
"I loved this sample. I loved your hero and heroine. I loved your secondary characters and the chemistry.
IF you ever manage to get this published please let me know, I'd like to read the rest of the book."
(WHAT?)
(***sigh***)
Much time later I received a polite rejection from an agent who told me I was "almost there."
(Almost there? Where is there? What there? Who there? What does there look like? What is missing from the here to make it there? Is it bigger than a bread box? Smaller than a tree? Can you buy it at Walgreens? Does it come as a roll on or inhaler? Can you get here from there?)
Finally achieving agent - ness I thought I was closer to there but there were more rejections to come.
Next was "Thank you for the opportunity to read this book. It is fun, well written and interesting. I don't know where to market it."
(bookshops?)
And, finally came the day when the editor in chief requested a re-write and resubmit.
(Ta DA!)
Which she held onto for six months before rejecting.
"Please thank your author for the changes. Please tell her she did a good job. Unfortunately. . . ."
(***sigh***)
But, now. . . first book is out. This, however, does not mean I have reached the end of the rejection letter story. Getting one book out does not mean that your others will be accepted.
I await the other interesting ways publishers will use to make me stare blankly at computer screens and letters. I have no doubt their imaginations have not yet plumbed the true depths of rejectionosity.